Five Spice Fortune Cookies

Five Spice Fortune Cookies from
The first time I made fortune cookies they were equally cruel. My cousin Stacy has an incredibly sarcastic sense of humor which I adore about her (Stacy, you know the truth. I would never say anything nice about you, or even think of you. At all. Ever). We have an interesting relationship, full of sarcasm, teasing, and one liners. Five-ish years ago,  my first set of fortune cookies were made for her birthday, filled with uncreative barbs such as "How's your diet going?" "Hint: Soap is a good thing." "You will be hit by a bus. I won't tell you when, but I will be the driver." 

My second set of fortune cookies were red and white and made for a boyfriend on Valentines Day. Awwwww. So cute right? These ones were nice, sweet, kind, full of compliments. (Insert comments from my cousin Stacy about how that's so unlike me, asking who's heart I stole to write them and a "gag me").

Last Saturday, also known as the Rapture that wasn't, Butchie  held a housewarming party and asked me to make a third batch of unfortunate cookies. This time the sarcasm was provided by Butchie:

You will be blessed with free new clothes. All you have to do is break into the PlanetAid box.

The fortune you seek is in another cookie.

You will find an object to help you on your quest. It will be crucial. I don't know anything else.

What, you wanted more than a cookie? Shut up and eat it already.

Help! I am being held prisoner in a fortune cookie bakery!

...In Bed.  

If you are eating this cookie the good news is the world didn't end today. The bad news is your life still sucks. 

Like I said: unfortunate. 

Either way, sweet and kind and cute, or sarcastic, dark and twisted fortune cookies are incredibly fun. You'll find all kinds of recipes on the internet. Some complex and some simple. I've tried about a dozen of them, and by this point I've realized that simple really is better. My favorite so far has all of four ingredients and works wonders. If you want to experiment, I'd recommend keeping this simple: switch out the spices, or add a little food coloring. Enjoy!  

Five-Spice Fortune Cookies
as found on Epicuriuos 

Butter for baking sheets
1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon five-spice powder
1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons sugar
2 large egg whites

Write fortunes on strips of paper.

Put oven rack in middle position and preheat to 400°F. Butter a 6-inch-wide strip lengthwise across middle of 2 baking sheets (from one short side to the other).

Sift together flour, five-spice powder, and a pinch of kosher salt into a bowl and stir in sugar.

Whisk egg whites in a bowl just until foamy. Add flour mixture and whisk until smooth.

Put 2 teaspoons batter on 1 side of buttered area of 1 baking sheet and spread evenly into a round about 3 1/2 inches in diameter using back of a spoon or a small offset spatula. Place 2 teaspoons more batter on other half of buttered area and form another round. Bake rounds until golden around edge and paler gold in center, 5 to 6 minutes. 

Place an empty muffin tin and drinking glass next to your work surface. Remove rounds from oven and, working quickly, flip 1 cookie over on baking sheet with a spatula. Transfer same cookie to a work surface, then put a fortune in center of inverted cookie and fold cookie in half (cookie will be hot). Lift up cookie with both hands by corners (important!) and press center of folded bottom edge perpendicularly against the rim of a glass, making a crease. Continue folding in same direction to bring corners together to create a C shape. Hold for a few seconds while cookie cools and shape sets, then set inside a muffin tin hole to cool. Quickly invert and fold second hot cookie, this time working on baking sheet to keep cookie warm and malleable.

Make 2 more cookies in same manner on second buttered baking sheet, then continue with remaining batter, using a buttered cool baking sheet for each batch. 

Eventually, you'll get this process down and be able to do 3-6 at a time. When I do six, I stagger  putting the tray's in by one minute, to make up for the work time.