That's right! I was there for the Stewart Colbert Rally and had "special guest" tickets! Up close and personal to all the hilarity!
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| the stage decor, and me with my little sign in the special guest section (thank you brandon!) |
Yep! There I am! Complete with a cute little Team Fear Sign! Let me just tell you...there was fear. A lot of fear. Mostly due to the people you can see behind me in the picture. As it turns out, these people were there since the hours of the day/and or night that I don't acknowledge to exist. Not only were they tired, and standing for hours...but look at them, they are caged in, crowded, and clearly on the brink of revolution.....so, for me to have twenty clear feet of green space around my lush over sized blanket with tons of room for snacks, card games, camera tripods and the like..well...there was a man dressed as a clown, and you could tell he had murder on the mind. To keep from rubbing this in too much, I only included a very small picture of my friends and my blanket in the collage below.
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| signs, signs, carved pumpkins of awesomeness- on sticks thus counting as a sign, and the crowd doing the wave as instructed by the MythBusters! |
Clearly some people missed the apolitical nature of the rally. But for those of us knew that this is the Festivus of political marches it was a blast!
The day started out with what had to be the worst set ever performed by John Legend & The Roots. The music was slow, and for a crowd this pumped, this jazzed, this ravenous behind their clown costume...you really got bring the funk. They. Did. Not.
Luckily we had a recovery, and our first showing of celebrities we cared about: The MythBusters! Perfect crowd control. How else can you get a few hundred thousand people to all focus their attention??? You can't. But they had us doing a two hundred thousand person wave, and jumping in unison, only to realize that a few hundred thousand people jumping in unison creates roughly the force of a car going 35 mph into a brick wall. Seriously? Sad! But they also got us all silent, laughing like mad scientists, and cheek popping together. So much fun!
And then it got CRAZY! Welcome Jon Stewart and off this rally went! My personal favorite was the dueling trains musical number! Cat Stevens singing Peace Train, and Ozzy Osbourne singing Crazy Train over top of one another. Personally I was on Ozzy's side. No offence to Cat (Yosef) but it's just more my style......but that could only last a few minutes before the OJ's came out and topped them all with Love Train! And yes, we did all join hands and ride on that love train!
Next up Sam Waterston reading a poem by Colbert (If you have no patience for poetry, even when it's humorous scroll down):
Did you hear that? No? You’re probably going deaf.
It’s your kids back home. Cooking up some crystal meth.
Did you turn off the oven? Did you set the alarm?
They still haven’t caught the man with one arm.
Look around at these people. How safe do you feel?
Your car, when you parked, did you lock it?
Think reasonably now…what are the odds that no one here’s a pick-pocket?
That guy who just coughed down your neck…Could he have an infection?
The restaurant where you went to brunch – did it fail its health inspection?
A mad man could set loose a virus for which there isn’t a cure and while these things may be unlikely - ask yourself – are you sure?
And can you be sure…
that you won’t get ebola from a tainted diet cola toxic waste are getting chased by a bearded Ayatollah.
Funnel clouds inhale, anthrax in the mail, your lover will discover your vestigial tail.
Someone’s robbing your house.
I can see through your blouse.
Your mother was right – you chose the wrong spouse.
Unlabeled drano tornados torpedos the horrible sights of some Guidos in Speedos.
STD’s, PCB’s SUVs, UV Lights
A giant pimple on your face, you have a date tonight
Choking on a biscotti being whacked by John Gotti
Getting trapped overnight in a full port-o-potty
And I have a final fear to drop in the bucket about a friend of a friend of the man from Nantucket.
There once was a man from O’Claire
Who no one was able to scare
He wouldn’t join in on the panics
About the Hispanics
And later was killed by a bear
True story.
Personally, I'm LOVING that. It kinda comes off as the worst Dr. Seuss poem ever. And by worst, I mean funniest for adults, not so much kids.
From there it was only more ridiculousness, including matching outfits for Jon and Stephen, a very boring musical number by Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow, sighting of Kareem Abdul Jabbar (which thanks to this rally I now know how to spell), Tony Bennet and Arianna Huffington (who forbid her staff to come? yet showed up herself? odd.) and of course, the twenty foot tall puppet of Colbert....which Kareem Abdul Jabbar could stand eye to eye with. That man is TALL! Watching Colbert run, jump and attempt to high five him was hilarious!
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| celebrities everywhere! |
And lastly we had the actual "speech." Which I whole heartedly agreed with one point made:
Most Americans don’t live their lives solely as Democrats, Republicans, liberals or conservatives. Americans live their lives more as people that are just a little bit late for something they have to do—often something they do not want to do.
If you want to see the whole speach I've embeded a player for it here.
Sorry there's no food in this post. Just food for thought. Though we did eat my leftover cake from the six layer torte from
The Palm. So if anyone is furious that there is no sweet treat to end this, hopefully that will assuage you! If not, go to The Palm and get the cake. That most certainly will. :)
Go Team Fear and/or Sanity!
